REVIEW: The Meg 2: The Trench (2023)

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Who doesn’t like a shark movie, huh?

PLOT

We go back to Mana One, where Jonas is now an eco-terrorist and the custodian of Meiying, who is also joined by Jiuming, who is Meiying’s uncle and is the inventor of a type of exo-suit that will allow them to explore the trench under the thermal cloud, the home of the Meg.

As expected, they dive down past the thermal cloud, but Jiuming’s pet Meg Haiqi has gotten free, and also joins them on their journey. While in the Trench, they notice there is a base station there, and there are some nefarious looking characters who are mining for rare earth minerals.

A scuffle ensues, resulting in an explosion that causes a hole to be teared in the thermal cloud, allowing multiple Megs and other creatures to breach the surface

It’s now a race against time to stop the megs and other creatures before they cause chaos on Fun Island.

TALKING POINTS

I learnt a value lesson again – never anticipate a movie, because it will always disappoint you.

I’m going to try a compliment sandwich review, where ill talk about something good, then the bad stuff and try and end with something good again.

First up, it’s kinda of a fun movie and the visual effects are pretty damn good. Don’t let anyone tell you any different, and with the exception of a few weird things like the mega-octopus, everything looks pretty damn good.

But, I signed up to watch a monster film about sharks, not a film about cartoon character bad guys who are mining the deep ocean for rare earth minerals to sell for billions of dollars. And I didn’t sign up for an action film either. The movie starts with a stupid scene on a ship with all this ridiculous fighting that seems out of character for Jonas, and then ends up with a shoot out that looks even more out of place for the characters. It’s like Statham has looked at his role in Wrath of Man and Wu Jing looked at his role as Wolf Warrior and they’ve brought it into this movie, forgetting that the audience is here for the damn sharks.

This feels very much like a Chinese monster movie. And while they are fun, they’re always heavy handed with their social messages, and it weird to see a movie like this – and I acknowledge it’s a co-production – with these environmental messages. That’s the Chinese government’s fingerprints all over this movie, and it’s clear that the producers were cool to allow it to happen.

What’s worse is that there is a perfectly good subplot here that this movie should have been about – and that is Meg mating scene. Firstly, who ever built the tank to hold the captive Haiqi Meg in should be fired. Who builds a waste hatch in a shark enclosure the same size, or bigger than the damn shark its holding? Of course, it was going to break out. Then, who writes a sub plot about potential shark mating then decides the movie should have a series of bad guys and lots of action, completely forgetting about the sharks. And the sharks go missing for huge chunks of this films.

The first Meg was fun because it was about Man vs Shark – but Meg 2 is about man vs evil man who likes to mine, oh and then there are some sharks. And a damn octopus. Where did the octopus come from?

In order to complete the compliment sandwich, I would like to mention that I appreciated the little call back to the first movie with Pippin the small dog and the bride who panics over him. For some reason, she is now husbandless. Also, why does this movie end in a similar location to the first movie. First movie had the tourist location of Sanya Island, and this one ends on Fun Island.

What are my overall thoughts?

So, with a heavy heart, I struggle to go beyond 2 stars. And I really wanted to give it more and not be one of those negative Nancy YouTube reviews, but the movie is what it is. It’s a Chinese action movie masquerading as a shark film, completely by accident, starring the hottest actor in China with thankfully complimented with pretty damn good visual effects.

What a shame, because I wanted a shark movie. I wanted The Meg but more.

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Genre Monster Movie Horror
Director Ben Wheatley
Starring Jason Statham, Wu Jing, Sophia Cai
Original Title 巨齿鲨2：深渊
Alterative Title The Meg 2: The Trench
Country of Origin China and USA
Release Date August 4 2023 (August 3 in Australia!)

BORN TO FLY - Trailer and Reaction video!

It returns, like a phoenix from the ashes! Pulled from release at the last minute back in September of 2022, this fighter jet movie from China bares more than a passing resemblance to a certain Tom Cruise blockbuster.

Chinese netizens were brutal! Their feedback was harsh! So the movie was delayed and the special effects were re-worked into what we see below. 

Check out the new trailer released today (23/3/2022) and then check out my reaction video and then join in the fun in the comments section! This is going to get brutal....ly funny! 

Genre Action Drama
Director Liu Xiaoshi
Starring Yibo Wang, Hu Jun, Dongyu Zhou
Original Title 长空之王
Country of Origin China
Release Date 28 April 2023

NINJA VS SHARK - Trailer and Reaction video!

If there is one country we can trust for insanity, it would have to be Japan, right? This trailer shows the sum of that awesomeness where director Koichi Sakamoto of Girls Blood and the Ultraman TV Series fame has managed to combine ninja and sharks together for one movie.

And as you'll see from the trailer and my reaction video, it's damn awesome

Genre Horror Action Martial Arts Awesome
Director Koichi Sakamoto
Starring Kohshu Hirano, Shun Nishime
Original Title 妖獣奇譚 ニンジャVSシャーク
Country of Origin Japan
Release Date April 14 2023

Should You Watch... KUMANTHONG 2 JACKPOT ISLAND? A ridiculously unnecessary sequel (Vietnam)

Just to prove it has tenuous links to the previous film, this movie picks up after the conclusion of the first movie. Ffresh after killing her murderous husband, A now pregnant Soi and her dad board a boat to an island to start a new life.

But desperate for her children to see the face of their father, she starts to practice black magic howver is stopped by her father. But not soon enough, as it unleashes a new, terrible curse on the island.

Fast forward around 30 years later, and a group of friends lead by a woman with a severe leg injury, her adopted sister, her boyfriend, a magician and two travel guides/Instagram streamer idiots head to the island for her birthday.

Lo and behold, things start to happen on this cursed island. Visions are experienced, death occurs, the truth is revealed and more weak links to the first movie are shoehorned in to remind you that there is a better movie out there you should be watching

MY THOUGHTS

Where do you start with this disaster?

Firstly the first movie didn’t need a sequel, since it was based on a real event. So making it a sequel is shoehorning characters into an original story

That’s what this is – this is a modern style horror movie about annoying people who film everything they do. Luckily its not found footage

Watch the video for my full review

DETAILS

Genre Horror Thriller
Director Lê Bình Giang
Starring Tran Nghia, Sam
Original Title Đảo Độc Đắc - Tử Mẫu Thiên Linh Cái
Alternative Title Jackpot Island: Kumanthong Returns
Country of Origin Vietnam
Release Date December 12 2022

Should You Watch... SAKRA? Donnie Yen's First Movie of 2023 - Is It Any Good? (Hong Kong) 天龍八部之喬峰傳

A series of high profile murders occur where clan leader Kiu Feng seems to be the main culprit. Desperate to clear his name and prove he is innocent, he leaves his clan – well more like is he forced out of the position – and comes across a face-changing thief called Zhu.

She gets critically injured while Kiu Feng is fighting, and he vows to take her to a medical practitioner. At the same time he makes a promise to her to reunite her with her family.

But the clans and masters keep hunting down Kiu Feng as they discover his blood family are actual their mortal enemies, which leads to a showdown with both the people who killed Kiu Feng’s parents and the people who set him up.

MY THOUGHTS

To be honest I don’t know if I have captured the story correctly as I’ve never seen the original movies or series, nor have I read the book, so I went into this one completely fresh in the story department

But one thing I am is a fan of Donnie Yen movies – especially more of his mid naughties content as that’s when I really got into his movies with the first Ip Man movies.

I’ve missed a lot of his pre-Ip Man movies, which means I’ve missed a lot of his more fantasy and wuxia style flicks.

However, I know a bad movie when I see it, and quite frankly this one is terrible.

If I was to try and put my finger on what was bad, unfortunately it all comes back to one thing – Donnie Yen. 

Watch the video for my full review

DETAILS

Genre Wuxia Action
Director Wai-Man Cheng, Donnie Yen
Starring Donnie Yen, Cya Liu, Kara Hui
Original Title 天龙八部之乔峰传
Alternative Title Demi Gods and Semi Devils
Country of Origin Hong Kong
Release Date January 19 2023 (Hong Kong), January 16 2023 (Malaysia)

Should You Watch... THE WANDERING EARTH 2? Wu Jing and Andy Lau Are Saving The Earth 流浪地球2

As humanity faces the end of its existence due to the death of the sun, a plan is enacted that will save the planet – the Wandering Earth project, which involves moving the moon out of Earth gravitational pull and then, using 10,000 thrusters, push Earth out of orbit and into a new Solar System.

At the same time this project is occurring, an alternative metaverse project dubbed “The Digital Life” is being developed, in where all human consciousness is uploaded into a server where a digital instance of that person will live forever.

We follow three main story arcs – Liu Peiqiang from the first movie, who is an acclaimed astronaut working on the Wandering Earth project, Tu Hengyu played by Andy Lau who is a researcher for the Digital Life project who faces a moral dilemma in trying to preserve the memory of his dead daughter Yaya, and Zhou Zhezhi and his assistance Xiaoyi, who are the Chinese representatives in the United Earth Government forum who fight to ensure the success of the Wandering Earth project.

The movie follows the two or so decades before the commencement of the first movie, leading up to the construction of the Earth Engines, the development of the sophisticated AI that runs everything, the construction of the Underground cities and all the terrorist disasters that occur before the Wandering Earth project is enacted. 

MY THOUGHTS

The first thing you’re going to want to know is if this is a good film? Well it is, but it does come with a few massive caveats. For full enjoyment, this movie should really be experienced in the cinema on a giant screen. Like the first film, watching at home on a TV – regardless of the size – won’t do any justice to the film.

The movie is an utter spectacle, make no mistake about that. Cohesion of the story line and quite a lot of logic are put on the back foot, as action set pieces, explosions and lots of quick science adjacent talk take place to bamboozle the audience. 

This movie really does put the “fiction” in the genre “science fiction”. But then the idea of moving the Earth out of orbit using thrusters powered by a finite number for rocks for 2500 years would always borderline on the more fantastical part of science fiction. This is pure sci-fi, so if you’re a junkie for this style, then this movie has you covered.

If it could be likened to anything, perhaps shades of Day After Tomorrow and other big Hollywood environmental disaster blockbusters of the early naughties are the closest similarities. Since Hollywood stopped making movies like that, it good to see someone else take over. 

Watch the video for my full review

DETAILS

Genre Sci-Fi Action
Director Frant Gwo
Starring Wu Jing, Andy Lau
Original Title 流浪地球2
Country of Origin China
Release Date January 22 2023
Alternative Title The Wandering Earth Ⅱ